real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
