im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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