It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
