Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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