Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize