lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
