All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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