Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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