We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
