I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
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I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
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I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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