I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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