DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize