508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
