is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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