I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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