i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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