i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize