i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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