i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
well you can't waste a boner
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
