im holly from the hills drunk
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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