Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
