Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
