You just made me feel so damn special
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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