Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
