i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
