well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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