Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
