Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
