Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
