My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
