Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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