Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
