You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
