i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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