The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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