I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I touched a dick in church today
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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