just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
