i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
