Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize