listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Enjoy the penises
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
