I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
