My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
