FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
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Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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