he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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