I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
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