Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize