Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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