He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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