haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
