yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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