We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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