I've blown a few things in my day
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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