Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
