i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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