You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
