so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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