Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
