i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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