i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
