Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
