His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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