I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
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i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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